Seoul_to

I just got back a little bit ago from a dinner with Clinton and another teacher friend. We got back a bit early, and Clinton went to bed. Leaving me on my own, of course I switched on the tele.

Some sort of show on older singles came on. It was interesting and with each moment had me thinking more. They were showing, slightly older singles, off in their own worlds enjoying themselves and their single lives.

One women came into the picture and she was discussing being in her early thirties and how it felt going to parties with all her "coupled" friends. On one hand she said, it was like she was the "entertainment". She was only 31 for god's sake! But somehow, she still reveled in that roll somehow. It made me think of being home this past month. I may not be 31, but still, everywhere I seemed to turn, either everyone I know or nearly everyone is either paired off or fully married. It was like I blinked and somehow missed that "I must complete myself with someone else" phase of life. I feel pretty much no inclination what-so-ever to bind myself to one particular person for life. In fact the whole idea scares me more than justa little.

I remember even at one point while a friend came down to visit (married friend, by the way) having a discussion about the act of marriage and divorce. I just don't believe in divorce. Why make a "vow", if only to break it when things become inconvenient or hard. She brought up that her mother-in-law had been abused and felt marriage to her now ex-husband was her only way out of abuse from her father. My answer was she still MADE THE CHOICE. If you do it, and it turns out bad, that's your lot in life. That may sound harsh to some, including one of my best friends, but that's just the way I think of things. Marriage is really FOREVER in my eyes.

I guess you could say that marriage kind of scares me. I don't take it lightly at all. For me it's a one time thing, with no turning back. After going home, I realized that I'm obviously at that stage in life where everyone else is pretty much there. What's the deal? I find it hard to believe, especially considering the divorce rate, that all these people are really ready for life with only one significant person in their world. Am I the only sane person that is more than a little scared of being with one person forever, or am I the only person that hasn't caught on to what I should do?

As the person on this particular show said, "I'll pair off when I want to!"

That's not even getting into the fact that I'm attracted to both men and women. How is that supposed to play into the whole "must settle down" thing?

Seoul_to_Soul
		~ Wednesday, May 26, 2004 I just got back a little bit ago from a dinner with Clinton and another teacher friend. We got back a bit early, and Clinton went to bed. Leaving me on my own, of course I switched on the tele. Some sort of show on older singles came on. It was interesting and with each moment had me thinking more. They were showing, slightly older singles, off in their own worlds enjoying themselves and their single lives. One women came into the picture and she was discussing being in her early thirties and how it felt going to parties with all her "coupled" friends. On one hand she said, it was like she was the "entertainment". She was only 31 for god's sake! But somehow, she still reveled in that roll somehow. It made me think of being home this past month. I may not be 31, but still, everywhere I seemed to turn, either everyone I know or nearly everyone is either paired off or fully married. It was like I blinked and somehow missed that "I must complete myself with someone else" phase of life. I feel pretty much no inclination what-so-ever to bind myself to one particular person for life. In fact the whole idea scares me more than justa little. I remember even at one point while a friend came down to visit (married friend, by the way) having a discussion about the act of marriage and divorce. I just don't believe in divorce. Why make a "vow", if only to break it when things become inconvenient or hard. She brought up that her mother-in-law had been abused and felt marriage to her now ex-husband was her only way out of abuse from her father. My answer was she still MADE THE CHOICE. If you do it, and it turns out bad, that's your lot in life. That may sound harsh to some, including one of my best friends, but that's just the way I think of things. Marriage is really FOREVER in my eyes. I guess you could say that marriage kind of scares me. I don't take it lightly at all. For me it's a one time thing, with no turning back. After going home, I realized that I'm obviously at that stage in life where everyone else is pretty much there. What's the deal? I find it hard to believe, especially considering the divorce rate, that all these people are really ready for life with only one significant person in their world. Am I the only sane person that is more than a little scared of being with one person forever, or am I the only person that hasn't caught on to what I should do? As the person on this particular show said, "I'll pair off when I want to!" That's not even getting into the fact that I'm attracted to both men and women. How is that supposed to play into the whole "must settle down" thing? posted by ~B~ at 6:38 AM